3 Minute Read
The Picture in Their Head
A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to speak at Hungry Gen Youth. During the message I shared a simple idea that has stuck with me since.
Every person carries a picture in their head of who they think they are. That picture forms over time. It can come from a lot of places.
Sports.
Parents.
Coaches.
Friends.
Social media.
Success.
Failure.
Labels.
Over time, the picture in our head becomes the way we see ourselves. For young athletes, that picture can change quickly.
One bad game.
One injury.
One coach’s decision.
One comparison.
Suddenly the picture in their head starts saying things like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I’ll never be that good.”
As parents, this is where our voice matters more than we realize. Because sometimes the picture our kids are carrying simply isn’t the right one.
Truth – The Story of Peter
In John 21 we find Peter carrying a wrong picture of himself.
Just days earlier, Peter had denied Jesus three times the night Jesus was arrested. Even though Jesus had risen from the dead, Peter was still carrying the weight of that moment.
Imagine the picture in Peter’s head:
“I failed Him.”
“I blew it.”
“I’m not the leader anymore.”
So Peter does what a lot of people do when they feel like they’ve failed. He goes back to what he used to do. John 21:3 says Peter told the others, “I am going fishing.”
But Jesus wasn’t finished with Peter.
When Jesus meets the disciples on the shore that morning, He doesn’t shame Peter. He doesn’t lecture him. He cooks breakfast.
Then Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?”
Why three times?
Because Peter denied Jesus three times.
Three denials.
Three restorations.
Jesus wasn’t reminding Peter of his failure. He was restoring his identity.
Peter showed up that morning believing, “I’m the guy who failed.”
Jesus tells him something different: “Follow me.”
Not “try harder.”
Not “earn your way back.”
Just follow me.
Jesus gives Peter a new picture of who he is.
Meet Ray
Ray had a tough game.
Nothing seemed to go right. Missed shots. Turnovers. A couple mistakes that stuck in his head long after the game ended.
On the drive home Ray sat quietly and finally said, “I think I’m just not very good.”
His dad glanced over and said, “Who told you that?”
Ray shrugged. “It just feels like it.”
His dad paused for a moment and then said, “One game doesn’t get to decide who you are.”
Later that night Ray thought about that. The mistakes were still real. But they didn’t get to define him.
The picture in his head started to shift.
Takeaway
Our kids are forming pictures of who they think they are every day.
Our job isn’t just to coach their performance. It’s to help shape their identity.
Remind them:
You are loved.
You are chosen.
You are capable.
You belong.
And most importantly, their identity isn’t built on a scoreboard or a stat line.
It’s built on who God says they are.
Sometimes the greatest thing we can do as parents is help our kids exchange the wrong picture in their head for the right one.
Win The Day,
Troy Farley
FCA Sports Leagues Director













