Parent Corner #25: Presence over Perfection

Troy FarleyFCA Sports Leagues Director
June 21, 2026

5 Minute Read
Parent Corner #25 – My Hero

Today is Father's Day.

And when I think about Father's Day, I think about my Dad.

I think about a father who played catch with me.

  • A father who showed up to every game he possibly could.
  • A father who taught me what hard work looked like.
  • A father who introduced me to Jesus.
  • A father who extended grace in seasons of my life when I didn't deserve it.
And now, years later, I watch him do the same thing for my daughters.


He's still showing up.

  • Still encouraging.
  • Still loving.
  • Still teaching.
  • Still present.

As I've gotten older, I've realized something.

Many of the most important things my dad taught me weren't taught through words.

They were taught through presence.

By simply being there.


The Gift of Presence


One of my favorite quotes about fatherhood comes from author Clarence Budington Kelland:

"My father didn't tell me how to live. He lived, and let me watch him do it."

The older I get, the more I understand that.

Because kids are always watching.

  • They're watching how we handle adversity.
  • They're watching how we treat people.
  • They're watching how we respond when things don't go our way.
  • They're watching what matters most to us.

And whether we realize it or not, we're painting a picture of life for them every day.

Not through perfection. Through presence.

A Better Picture of God


One of the greatest gifts my dad ever gave me was introducing me to Jesus.

Not because he had all the answers. Not because he was perfect. But because he pointed me to the One who is.

Every good father reflects a piece of God's heart.

  • His love.
  • His patience.
  • His grace.
  • His faithfulness.

And while earthly fathers will always fall short, God never does.

One of the things I've come to appreciate most about my dad is that he showed up.

At games.

  • In hard seasons.
  • In moments when I needed encouragement.
  • In moments when I needed grace.

And as I look back, it reminds me of Jesus.

In John 21, Peter had failed Jesus. Three times he denied even knowing Him. Peter thought the story was over. So he went back to fishing. But Jesus wasn't finished with him. Jesus showed up on the shore.

  • He didn't show up to shame Peter.
  • He didn't show up to remind Peter of his mistakes.
  • He showed up to make breakfast.
  • He showed up to restore him.
  • He showed up to remind Peter that failure wasn't the end of his story.
Looking back, that's one of the greatest gifts my dad has given me: Not perfection. Presence.

The kind of presence that keeps showing up even when life gets messy.


For some of us, Father's Day is a celebration.

For others, it's complicated.

  • Maybe your father wasn't present.
  • Maybe the relationship is strained.
  • Maybe there's hurt.

The good news is that our story doesn't end there.

Through Jesus, we discover a God who never stops pursuing us, never stops loving us, and never gives up on us.

Meet Ray

Father's Day always felt a little different for Ray. His parents were divorced.

  • Some weekends looked one way.
  • Some weekends looked another.
  • Sometimes he found himself comparing his family to everyone else's.

One afternoon after a game, Ray sat quietly in the car.

His dad noticed.

"What's up, buddy?"

Ray shrugged.

"I wish things were different."

His dad sat for a moment before answering.

"I do too sometimes."

Then he smiled.

"But different doesn't mean bad."

Ray looked over.

His dad continued.

"One thing I want you to always know is this: no matter where you are, whose house you're at, or what life looks like, I'm your dad and I love you."

Years later, Ray would remember that conversation. Not because it fixed everything. But because it reminded him of something important.

  • Love shows up.
  • Love stays.
  • Love keeps coming back.

Takeaway

This Father's Day, take a moment to thank the people who showed up.

  • The dads.
  • The grandpas.
  • The coaches.
  • The mentors.
  • The men who invested in us.
Not because they were perfect. But because they were present.

And if you're a father reading this, remember:

  • Your kids won't remember every score.
  • They won't remember every lesson.
  • They won't remember every speech.
  • But they will remember your presence.
Because sometimes the greatest gift a father gives isn't perfection. It's showing up.

Dad, thank you for showing up. I love you. Happy Father's Day.


A Final Thought

Over a year ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with my dad on my podcast for an episode of Inning Intermissions.

We talked about life, faith, family, sports, and many of the lessons that helped shape me into the person I am today.

If you'd like to learn more about the man behind this story, I invite you to listen to that conversation and celebrate a life that continues to impact not only me, but now my daughters as well.

Watch or listen to the episodes below

More than a league. It's a mission.

Win The Day,

Troy Farley

FCA Sports Leagues Director

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Parent Corner #29: The Gift of Struggle
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Parent Corner #28: The Detour
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July 16, 20263 Minute Read
Parent Corner #27 – What's the Point?
"If I'm not willing to live to what I wrote, then what's the point?" — I Play Rocky A few days ago I heard a quote from the upcoming movie I Play Rocky that hasn't left me. "If I'm not willing to live to what I wrote, then what's the point?" The more I thought about it, the more it felt less like a quote...and more like a mirror. Because if I'm honest, I've been guilty of words. Fancy words. Encouraging words. Words I've written. Words I've spoken from a stage. Words I've shared in these Parent Corners. But I've also spoken impatient words. Broken words to my wife. Frustrated words to my daughters. Words I wish I could take back. As I sat with that quote, I realized something. It's possible to know the right words...without living them. The Greatest Lesson As parents, we spend so much time teaching. Be kind. Tell the truth. Work hard. Respect your coach. Trust God. All important lessons. But what if the greatest lesson our children will ever learn...isn't what we say? What if it's what they watch us live? Because whether we realize it or not... Our kids are reading us every single day. Our patience. Our forgiveness. Our marriages. Our reactions. Our integrity. Long before they remember our words...They'll remember our example. Jesus understood this. He didn't simply tell people how to live. He lived among them. He served. He forgave. He loved. Then He said, "I did this as an example for you. So you should serve each other just as I served you." (John 13:15 ERV) Jesus didn't just preach the message. He became the message. The Dream That quote challenged me in another way too. God has written dreams on every one of our hearts. Some of us are nine. Some of us are forty-one. Some of us are eighty. Age doesn't erase purpose. Maybe God has been asking you to take a step. To forgive. To apologize. To serve. To start. To trust. To finally become the person He's been shaping you to be. If we're not willing to live what God has written on our hearts...What's the point? Meet Ray Ray loved talking about being a great teammate. He knew all the right things to say. Encourage others. Work hard. Stay positive. Then one day his coach pulled him aside after practice. "Ray," he smiled, "You already know what a great teammate looks like." Ray nodded. His coach continued, "Now go become one." That conversation stayed with Ray. Not because he learned something new. But because he realized the difference between knowing...and becoming. Takeaway Maybe this week isn't about learning something new. Maybe it's about living something you already know. Showing more patience. Offering forgiveness. Choosing encouragement. Taking one courageous step toward the life God has been inviting you into. Because our kids won't remember every speech we gave. But they'll remember the life we lived. We are all one thought...One word...One action... Away from a totally different life. Maybe this week...The action is simply living what we've already said we believe. More than a league. It's a mission. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director
July 6, 20264 Minute Read
Parent Corner #26: The Moments That Matter Most
"The chance to re-live the moments that meant most." — Matt Haig, The Midnight Train A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend the week at kids camp with Faith Tri-Cities and NW Kids. On the surface, it looked like I was simply helping at camp. But something much deeper was happening. This wasn't just any camp. It was the same camp where I spent my summers beginning around eleven years old. The same camp. The same lake. The same chapel. The same places where God quietly began shaping the direction of my life. Places where I learned to trust Him. Places where I began hearing His voice. Places that helped shape who I am and what I still do today. God began shaping my life as an eleven-year-old. And this summer, I had the privilege of watching my own daughter experience that same place. Almost the exact same age I was. As I watched her from a distance (because let's be honest... having Dad at camp is both cool and not cool), I realized something. I wasn't just watching my daughter at camp. I was getting the chance to relive the moments that have meant the most. Standing outside the same chapel where God first began stirring my heart. Jumping off the high dive with Vail—something I had done decades earlier myself. Watching kids worship. Hearing laughter echo across the camp. I couldn't help but look back over my own life. I saw God's fingerprints everywhere. Prayers I didn't even know He was answering. Doors He opened. Miracles I couldn't have planned. The calling He slowly revealed over years—not days. And for a moment, it all came rushing back. The Long Game As parents, we spend so much time thinking about the next game. The next season. The next team. The next opportunity. But what if God is playing a much longer game? What if He's far more interested in shaping hearts than schedules? One of my deepest prayers isn't that my daughters become great athletes. Or successful adults. Or even accomplish big things. My greatest prayer is much simpler: That they would learn to recognize the voice of God. Because when you know His voice...Everything changes. Listening One of my favorite moments in Scripture comes from a young boy named Samuel. God called his name during the night. At first, Samuel didn't realize who was speaking. Finally, Eli told him: "If God speaks to you again, say, 'Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.'" (1 Samuel 3:9, ERV) That simple prayer has shaped generations. Maybe it's one we need to pray more often too. Speak, Lord. I'm listening. Meet Ray Camp was always Ray's favorite week of the summer. One night after chapel, he sat on a bench overlooking the lake. Everyone else had already headed back to their cabins. His counselor walked over and sat beside him. "You okay?" Ray nodded. "I think so." After a long pause he finally said, "I think God might be trying to tell me something." His counselor smiled. "What do you think He's saying?" Ray shrugged. "I don't know yet." His counselor nodded. "That's okay." "Keep listening." Years later, Ray wouldn't remember every game he played. He wouldn't remember every trophy. But he'd remember that quiet bench. Because sometimes the moments that change our lives don't happen in front of a crowd. They happen when we're finally quiet enough to listen. Takeaway As parents, we all chase moments. First steps. First games. First home runs. First championships. They're all wonderful. But may we never miss the moment that matters most. The moment our children begin to recognize the voice of God. Because I truly believe: We are just one thought, one word, or one action away from a totally different life. And sometimes...That one word: Is His. More than a league. It's a mission. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director
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June 21, 20265 Minute Read
Parent Corner #25: Presence over Perfection
Parent Corner #25 – My Hero Today is Father's Day. And when I think about Father's Day, I think about my Dad. I think about a father who played catch with me. A father who showed up to every game he possibly could. A father who taught me what hard work looked like. A father who introduced me to Jesus. A father who extended grace in seasons of my life when I didn't deserve it. And now, years later, I watch him do the same thing for my daughters. He's still showing up. Still encouraging. Still loving. Still teaching. Still present. As I've gotten older, I've realized something. Many of the most important things my dad taught me weren't taught through words. They were taught through presence. By simply being there. The Gift of Presence One of my favorite quotes about fatherhood comes from author Clarence Budington Kelland: "My father didn't tell me how to live. He lived, and let me watch him do it." The older I get, the more I understand that. Because kids are always watching. They're watching how we handle adversity. They're watching how we treat people. They're watching how we respond when things don't go our way. They're watching what matters most to us. And whether we realize it or not, we're painting a picture of life for them every day. Not through perfection. Through presence. A Better Picture of God One of the greatest gifts my dad ever gave me was introducing me to Jesus. Not because he had all the answers. Not because he was perfect. But because he pointed me to the One who is. Every good father reflects a piece of God's heart. His love. His patience. His grace. His faithfulness. And while earthly fathers will always fall short, God never does. One of the things I've come to appreciate most about my dad is that he showed up. At games. In hard seasons. In moments when I needed encouragement. In moments when I needed grace. And as I look back, it reminds me of Jesus. In John 21, Peter had failed Jesus. Three times he denied even knowing Him. Peter thought the story was over. So he went back to fishing. But Jesus wasn't finished with him. Jesus showed up on the shore. He didn't show up to shame Peter. He didn't show up to remind Peter of his mistakes. He showed up to make breakfast. He showed up to restore him. He showed up to remind Peter that failure wasn't the end of his story. Looking back, that's one of the greatest gifts my dad has given me: Not perfection. Presence. The kind of presence that keeps showing up even when life gets messy. For some of us, Father's Day is a celebration. For others, it's complicated. Maybe your father wasn't present. Maybe the relationship is strained. Maybe there's hurt. The good news is that our story doesn't end there. Through Jesus, we discover a God who never stops pursuing us, never stops loving us, and never gives up on us. Meet Ray Father's Day always felt a little different for Ray. His parents were divorced. Some weekends looked one way. Some weekends looked another. Sometimes he found himself comparing his family to everyone else's. One afternoon after a game, Ray sat quietly in the car. His dad noticed. "What's up, buddy?" Ray shrugged. "I wish things were different." His dad sat for a moment before answering. "I do too sometimes." Then he smiled. "But different doesn't mean bad." Ray looked over. His dad continued. "One thing I want you to always know is this: no matter where you are, whose house you're at, or what life looks like, I'm your dad and I love you." Years later, Ray would remember that conversation. Not because it fixed everything. But because it reminded him of something important. Love shows up. Love stays. Love keeps coming back. Takeaway This Father's Day, take a moment to thank the people who showed up. The dads. The grandpas. The coaches. The mentors. The men who invested in us. Not because they were perfect. But because they were present. And if you're a father reading this, remember: Your kids won't remember every score. They won't remember every lesson. They won't remember every speech. But they will remember your presence. Because sometimes the greatest gift a father gives isn't perfection. It's showing up. Dad, thank you for showing up. I love you. Happy Father's Day. A Final Thought Over a year ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with my dad on my podcast for an episode of Inning Intermissions. We talked about life, faith, family, sports, and many of the lessons that helped shape me into the person I am today. If you'd like to learn more about the man behind this story, I invite you to listen to that conversation and celebrate a life that continues to impact not only me, but now my daughters as well. Watch or listen to the episodes below Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 More than a league. It's a mission. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director
June 14, 20263 Minute Read
Parent Corner #24: The Thermostat
Championship Sunday This weekend I spent time watching my daughter's softball team compete in a tournament. Saturday felt different than Sunday. Saturday was relaxed. Parents laughed. Coaches coached. Umpires made calls. Kids played. Nobody seemed overly concerned with the outcome. Then Sunday arrived. Single elimination. Lose and go home. The thermostat changed. Voices got louder. Coaches became more intense. Parents became more invested. Every call felt bigger. Every mistake felt heavier. And if I'm being honest, I felt it too. The pressure was real. Which got me thinking. Why do I have so much grace for other people's young athletes but not always for my own? Why do I allow the title of the game to change the way I view the game? Fred Rogers once said: "Who you are inside is what helps you make and do everything in life." Championship Sunday reminded me how easy it is to focus on outcomes while forgetting what may be happening inside our kids. After all, it was still softball. The bases didn't move. The rules didn't change. The girls were still kids. But somehow the stakes felt different. And when the stakes felt different, my perspective started to change. The Real Opponent Maybe the biggest challenge in youth sports isn't the team in the other dugout. Maybe it's what pressure does to us. Pressure has a way of shrinking our perspective. Instead of seeing growth, we see mistakes. Instead of seeing effort, we see results. Instead of seeing kids, we see outcomes. And when that happens, we begin evaluating moments differently than God does. What if God isn't nearly as concerned about the scoreboard as we are? What if He's paying attention to something deeper? Character. Courage. Perseverance. Joy. Teamwork. The things that last long after the tournament bracket is forgotten. Jesus and the Pressure One of the things I love about Jesus is that pressure never seemed to change Him. Crowds got bigger. Opposition got louder. The stakes got higher. Yet Jesus continued to see people. He saw individuals where others saw outcomes. He saw hearts where others saw performance. He extended grace when others expected perfection. As parents, that's the challenge in front of us. Can we continue to see our kids the way God sees them, even when the pressure rises? Meet Ray Ray's team found themselves in a championship game. The gym felt different. Everyone knew what was on the line. Late in the game, Ray made a mistake that led to the other team scoring. Immediately his shoulders dropped. The drive home felt long. Finally, Ray looked over and said, "I cost us the game." His dad paused before responding. Then he asked a simple question. "Is that what you'd tell one of your teammates if they made the same mistake?" Ray thought for a moment. "No." "What would you tell them?" "I'd tell them it's just one play." His dad smiled. "Then maybe that's what you need to tell yourself." Takeaway The title of the game shouldn't change how we view the game. Whether it's pool play or a championship. Whether it's a practice or a playoff. Whether they win or lose. They're still kids. They're still learning. They're still growing. This week, when the pressure rises, ask yourself: Am I seeing my child through the lens of performance? Or through the lens of grace? Because one day they'll forget most of the scores. But they'll remember how we responded when the thermostat changed. More than a league. It's a mission. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director
May 31, 20263 Minute Read
Parent Corner #23
The Goal is to Go Recently, I received a message from one of our coaches—a coach I have a tremendous amount of respect for. He shared that his family would be moving on to another club this fall. He thanked us for the years together and explained that his boys were ready for a new challenge. As I read his message, I found myself smiling. Not because they were leaving. But because this is exactly what we hope happens. That might sound strange. Most leagues, teams, and organizations measure success by how long they can keep people around. But our goal has never been to keep you forever. Our goal is to prepare you to go. More Than a League From the beginning, FCA Sports has been built around three simple ideas: Engage. Equip. Empower. We want to engage athletes, coaches, and families where they are. We want to equip them with tools, habits, and truth that help them grow. And then we want to empower them to go live it out. Because eventually every athlete moves on. Every parent moves on. Every coach moves on. The question isn't whether we'll move on. The question is: What will we take with us when we do? Jesus Did the Same Thing When you look at the life of Jesus, His ministry wasn't built around keeping people close forever. It was built around preparing them to go. He spent time with His disciples. He taught them. He challenged them. He corrected them. He encouraged them. And then He sent them. The goal was never simply information. The goal was transformation. And transformation always leads to movement. Meet Ray Ray had spent several years playing in the same environment. The coaches knew him. His teammates knew him. Everything felt familiar. Then one day a new opportunity came along. Ray wasn't sure what to do. Part of him wanted to stay where he was comfortable. His dad listened and finally asked a simple question: "Do you think you're ready?" Ray thought for a moment. "I think so." His dad smiled. "Then maybe it's time." A few months later, Ray found himself in a new environment with new teammates, new coaches, and new challenges. Some things were harder. Some things were better. But what surprised him most was realizing how much he had already learned. The lessons came with him. The habits came with him. The character came with him. And that's what mattered most. Takeaway Whether your child stays with FCA Sports for one season or ten, our hope remains the same. We want to help develop athletes. But even more than that, we want to help develop people. People who know how to compete. People who know how to encourage teammates. People who know how to handle success and failure. People who know how to live out their faith wherever life takes them. Because the goal isn't simply to stay. The goal is to go. To take what you've learned and live it out in your team, your school, your workplace, your church, and your community. That's how movements grow. More than a league. It's a mission. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director
May 23, 20263 Minute Read
Parent Corner #22
The Secret Isn’t a Secret A few weeks ago on my Inning Intermissions Podcast, I was interviewing a friend when he said something that stuck with me: “There’s no secret recipe. It’s just consistency.” That line hasn’t left my head. Because the more I think about it, the more I believe it’s true for almost everything in life. The secret isn’t a secret. So why do we struggle with this so much? As parents of young athletes, we’re constantly looking for the formula. The right trainer. The right team. The right schedule. The right camp. The right opportunity. But what if there isn’t a secret formula? What if growth is usually found in consistency? Showing up. Practicing. Encouraging. Learning. Failing. Trying again. Let the consistency of whatever they are chasing play itself out. And honestly, this doesn’t just apply to our kids. It applies to us too. If I could pass along one “secret” that really isn’t a secret for all of us to consistently dive into, it would be this: The Bible. The greatest story ever told. A story that is still unfolding. A story we are invited into. From creation in Genesis to eternity in Revelation, the Bible points us to one central figure: Jesus. The apostle Paul wrote these words while sitting in prison, reminding believers that the true secret to life was never success, status, or power. It was always Jesus. Colossians 1:27 says: “God decided to let his people know this rich and glorious secret, which is for all people. The secret is this: Christ is in you. He is our hope for glory.” We are all being guided by something. The question is: what? Culture? Social media? Success? Comparison? Fear? Or the Word of God? The secret to life really isn’t a secret. It’s a relationship with Jesus. And God’s Word leads us to Him page after page. Honestly, if I had my way, every athlete who came through FCA Sports would leave with a Bible in their hands. (I’m working on it. 🙏) FCA has an Athlete Bible. An FCA Coaches Bible. And now a brand-new Kids Bible. Because we don’t just want to develop athletes. We want to help guide people. Meet Ray After practice one night, Ray stayed behind helping put basketballs away. As the gym emptied out, his coach walked over and handed him something. It was a Bible. Ray looked surprised. His coach smiled and said, “You spend a lot of time working on your game. Don’t forget to work on your heart too.” That night Ray flipped through the pages before bed. He didn’t understand everything yet. But one verse caught his attention: “The secret is this: Christ is in you. He is our hope for glory.” The next morning, Ray brought the Bible with him in the car. Not because he had everything figured out. But because he wanted direction. Takeaway The secret isn’t a secret. Consistency matters. Consistency in practice. Consistency in encouragement. Consistency in faith. This week, make space for God’s Word in your home. Read one verse together. Ask one good question. Start one small habit. Sometimes the biggest transformation begins with the smallest consistent step. More than a league. It’s a mission. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director
February 18, 20263 Minute Read
Parent Corner #21
The Picture in Their Head A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to speak at Hungry Gen Youth. During the message I shared a simple idea that has stuck with me since. Every person carries a picture in their head of who they think they are. That picture forms over time. It can come from a lot of places. Sports. Parents. Coaches. Friends. Social media. Success. Failure. Labels. Over time, the picture in our head becomes the way we see ourselves. For young athletes, that picture can change quickly. One bad game. One injury. One coach’s decision. One comparison. Suddenly the picture in their head starts saying things like: “I’m not good enough.” “I always mess things up.” “I’ll never be that good.” As parents, this is where our voice matters more than we realize. Because sometimes the picture our kids are carrying simply isn’t the right one. Truth – The Story of Peter In John 21 we find Peter carrying a wrong picture of himself. Just days earlier, Peter had denied Jesus three times the night Jesus was arrested. Even though Jesus had risen from the dead, Peter was still carrying the weight of that moment. Imagine the picture in Peter’s head: “I failed Him.” “I blew it.” “I’m not the leader anymore.” So Peter does what a lot of people do when they feel like they’ve failed. He goes back to what he used to do. John 21:3 says Peter told the others, “I am going fishing.” But Jesus wasn’t finished with Peter. When Jesus meets the disciples on the shore that morning, He doesn’t shame Peter. He doesn’t lecture him. He cooks breakfast. Then Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” Why three times? Because Peter denied Jesus three times. Three denials. Three restorations. Jesus wasn’t reminding Peter of his failure. He was restoring his identity. Peter showed up that morning believing, “I’m the guy who failed.” Jesus tells him something different: “Follow me.” Not “try harder.” Not “earn your way back.” Just follow me. Jesus gives Peter a new picture of who he is. Meet Ray Ray had a tough game. Nothing seemed to go right. Missed shots. Turnovers. A couple mistakes that stuck in his head long after the game ended. On the drive home Ray sat quietly and finally said, “I think I’m just not very good.” His dad glanced over and said, “Who told you that?” Ray shrugged. “It just feels like it.” His dad paused for a moment and then said, “One game doesn’t get to decide who you are.” Later that night Ray thought about that. The mistakes were still real. But they didn’t get to define him. The picture in his head started to shift. Takeaway Our kids are forming pictures of who they think they are every day. Our job isn’t just to coach their performance. It’s to help shape their identity. Remind them: You are loved. You are chosen. You are capable. You belong. And most importantly, their identity isn’t built on a scoreboard or a stat line. It’s built on who God says they are. Sometimes the greatest thing we can do as parents is help our kids exchange the wrong picture in their head for the right one. Win The Day, Troy Farley FCA Sports Leagues Director