I turn 42 next month.
And I've already made a decision about 42:
I want it to be the best year of my life.
- For my family.
- Professionally.
- Personally.
- Spiritually.
And I want to keep doing things that remind me I'm still living, learning and becoming.
- I want to ride the Seattle to Portland bike ride in honor of my dad.
- I want to finally learn how to play the piano. I've wanted to for years but have never taken the time.
- And I want to release my first full children's book, Just a Donkey—the story of my donkey friend JJ, who keeps wrestling with a question I understand more than I'd probably like to admit:“What could somebody like me ever do?”
At 42, I still have things I want to try.
- Things I want to learn.
- Things I want to create.
- Ways I want to grow.
Which is probably why these words have been sitting with me lately:
“There is no cut-off age for development.”
I love that.
Because I spend a lot of time thinking about the development of kids.
- Their gifts.
- Their character.
- Their faith.
- Their leadership.
- Their next step.
But this Parent Corner isn't really about them.
This one's for us: The parents.
Your story isn't over. You still hold the pen. What will you write next?
That thought makes me think about one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis.
I love the way Lewis could take something ordinary—a wardrobe, a painting, a doorway—and suddenly another world was waiting on the other side.
I've started thinking about our lives that way.
Open doors.
- A conversation can be an open door.
- A book can be an open door.
- A new friendship.
- A class.
- A ministry.
- A job opportunity.
- A decision to finally get healthy.
Picking up something you put down twenty years ago.
Trying something you're terrible at.
Saying yes to something that scares you.
Sometimes the next world doesn't require us to find a magical wardrobe. Sometimes it begins by changing our mind about what is still possible.
Dad's Open Door
One evening Ray walked into the garage and found Dad staring at an old guitar case.
Ray had seen it plenty of times.
He'd just never seen it open.
“You play guitar?”
Dad laughed. “Used to.”
He picked it up and tried a chord.
It wasn't pretty.
Ray laughed.
Dad did too.
“I was actually pretty good once.”
“So why'd you stop?”
Dad didn't really have an answer.
Life, probably.
Work. Marriage. Kids. Schedules. Responsibilities.
None of them bad.
Somewhere along the way, though, “I play guitar” became “I used to play guitar.”
Ray looked at him.
“So...why don't you play anymore?”
Simple question. Hard answer.
Dad looked down at the guitar. Then back at Ray.
Maybe the door wasn't locked. Maybe he'd just stopped trying the handle.
So Dad played again. Badly.
Then again the next night. And again.
A few weeks later, Ray walked through the garage and heard music.
Not perfect music. Developing music.
And maybe that was the point.
We Don't Graduate From Growth
There is no age where God looks at us and says: That's enough development for you.
Scripture keeps giving us language of renewal, growth, transformation and becoming.
Romans 12:2 tells us to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Not have been transformed. Be transformed.
That's movement. That's development. That's an open door.
And history gives us some beautiful reminders.
Leonard Cohen had already built a life as a writer before beginning his recording career in his early 30s.
Giuseppe Verdi could have comfortably let an extraordinary career be finished. Instead, after stepping away from opera, he returned and created Otello in his 70s and Falstaff around 80.
Their stories weren't over. Neither is ours.
Keep the Doors Open
Maybe that's part of what we owe our kids.
Not just telling them:
- Keep learning.
- Keep growing.
- Try something new.
- Don't be afraid to fail.
But letting them watch us do it.
Let them see Dad be a beginner.
Let them see Mom change her mind.
Let them watch us read, learn, create, train, apologize, ask questions, develop a gift, deepen our faith or walk through a door we once assumed had closed.
Because it's hard to convince our kids that growth is lifelong if they think we stopped growing at 35.
Maybe the question this week isn't: What does my kid need to work on?
Maybe it's: WHAT'S MY NEXT OPEN DOOR?
- What have you been curious about?
- What have you talked yourself out of?
- What gift have you stopped developing?
- What has God been nudging you toward?
- What would you try if you weren't worried about being a beginner again?
Your story isn't over. You still hold the pen.
There is no cut-off age for development.
Keep as many doors open as possible.
And when God puts one in front of you...turn the handle.
Win the Day
Troy Farley
FCA Sports Leagues Director
